The Days ...

Just when you thought your family had the monopoly on being uber-fucked-up...
 
Just when you thought daytime TV had the only baby-mama-drama...
 
along comes the new ABC series "The Days," airing every Sunday at 10/9c.  Don't worry, last night was just the pilot episode, so you've only missed one.  I can't go as far as to say you haven't missed much, though.
 
This show is ABC's incredibly desperate attempt to get back in the ratings game.  Looks like they were too afraid of this show to test it on a weeknight (VP of Programming Ops needs to grow some balls).  They needn't have worried.   "The Days" pilot episode was like watching a train wreck.  No way all this stuff could have happened to a real family.   I would warn of spoilers to follow here, but I don't think it's going to re-air, and if you don't know what happens first, you'll never understand the show.
 
* Popular soccer star daughter gets knocked up by popular football star boyfriend. boo hoo.
 
* Dad enters messed up existential crisis and quits job as attorney.  (There goes the Prada backpack Miss Popular wanted for Christmas.)
 
* Angsty pubescent little brother of Miss Popular decks impregnator and gets his ass kicked.
 
* Tortured 9 year old genius child smitten with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks; runs away and takes the public bus to her house to give her flowers.  Is rewarded with kiss on cheek.  Damn, playa.
 
* Impregnator tells Miss Popular he's happy to go with her to the abortion clinic.  Asshole.  Scene designed to make you hate him, which, of course, you gladly do. Bastard.
 
* Episode concludes with Mom finding out she also is pregnant.  Then Mom and Dad decide to make dinner at midnight.  Does Child Protective Services know about these parents?
 
With all this drama, who needs Passions or General Hospital? ppppsssshhhhhh.  Of course, I can make fun of this shit all I want, but I AM SO ADDICTED! Do not call me during this show or I will kick your ass.